I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
