no. you can't hotbox the world.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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