i jhust puked up my retainher.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
