I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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