yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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