Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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