i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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