I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
