i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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