woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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