Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
