Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
