so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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