Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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