just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
