My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
