hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
