She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You can't just leave with hair like that
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
