similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Oh god it's open bar.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
