If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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