How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
