I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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