An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
