All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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