I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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