It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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