I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
