How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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