is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
