am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
