I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
