i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he puts the penis in happiness.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
