I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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