Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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