You smell like stripper and shame
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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