Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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