Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
this is an emotional support booty call
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
