Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
