Christians are straight up FREAKS
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
