he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
