You're completely useless in the revolution.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
