If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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