Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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