Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
