That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
