I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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