who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
