things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
there is glitter all over my balls
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