let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
