69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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